Smashed window. Rented car. Stolen purse. The best spontaneous trip of my life.

You, fine reader, probably read my last post (if you did not, just play along) and are thoroughly confused. “I thought you were going to Croatia,” you dramatically scream into the void. Due to poor weather and dangerous driving conditions, our plans changed two days before our trip. On a whim, we chose to go to Krakow instead. That’s right, everyone – Poland: a country I have now attempted to go to four times. Something always happens (surprise bills, sickness, etc.), and this trip was no different.

Four friends – Kate, Elena, Caroline, Molly – and I never made it to Poland due to my apparent curse. Fate and a last-minute internet search by Elena landed us in a whirlwind that will stick with us forever. Our plan was to leave immediately after school on Friday, start driving north, and stop in Slovakia for the night – driving through the mountains shrouded in darkness was not something we wanted to do. We thought it brilliant at the time to just drive until dusk and then find the nearest hotel. Right before she left school, Elena found a ranch that looked promising (“They have horses, guys. Horses.”). On the way, she casually brought it up. It sounded so absurd and random that we couldn’t say no. The closer we got, the more we realized that it was truly in the middle of nowhere. Located in Valentová, a village of only 18 people, Ranch Amadeus would soon feel like home.

When we walked into the main building at the ranch, we saw several older Slovakian men sitting at a table smoking and drinking. The room was covered with cow hides, American flags, pictures of horses, lassos, and other stereotypical Western items. My friends and I felt like we were dreaming. In just a few hours we went from the 9th largest city in the European Union to a Texas-inspired Slovakian village of 18. Life, you’re a funny little thing. We spent the night speaking with Robert (Bobby), the owner, and Patrick, the cook. Patrick did not speak English, but he knew Hungarian. I was excited because I could speak with him and practice my Hungarian. Bobby, on the other hand, spoke English. He had traveled extensively through the United States, but more particularly the West. The décor was inspired by these travels. The next morning we had planned on stopping by a nearby mountain alone, but Bobby, an experienced guide, insisted that he and his son, Radoslav (Rado for short), take us. We joked that we wanted to stay at the ranch forever. Irony to follow.

Just a little taste of the glory which was this place.

We packed up the car, said goodbye to Patrick, and followed Bobby and Rado through winding roads to what I thought would be a quick, easy hike before we moved onward to Krakow. Of course I was mistaken. When we got out of the car, we were almost blown over by the sheer force of the wind. Bobby said that he planned on taking us up to a stony peak called Kľak. Kľak is part of the Malá Fatra (Little/Lesser Fatra) range in Slovakia and is 1,352m (4,435ft) high. Our car had no trunk, so we covered our belongings with Kate’s jacket. Before we left, I grabbed my wallet out of my purse and hid it in another compartment of the car – an instinctual action that would prove beneficial in two or three hours.

Bobby teaching Caroline and Kate about the landscape before our hike.

Although I love nature and frolicking, steep, snowy inclines are foreign to this sea-level lass from coastal Georgia. Right as we reached the halfway point (Reváňske Sedlo – 1,184m/3,884ft high) in clothes meant for Krakow, the snow-laden trail narrowed to a little sliver. In good fashion, this is where I slipped and fell. Rado managed to grab me seconds before my clumsy self slid down the mountain. Covered in snow, I caught up with my friends and we took pictures celebrating the halfway mark. Since Molly was not wearing proper footwear and I had already almost slid straight into the abyss, we turned back with Rado to grab a bite to eat at a restaurant. This decision was one of the best ones we had ever made. During our trek, someone smashed through one of the back windows of our rental car and stole Kate’s jacket and my purse. Unfortunately for Kate, she had accidentally left her passport, bus pass, and flat keys in her jacket pocket. Fortunately for me, I took out my wallet and hid it in another place. Rado called the police and the waiting game began – for the police and our companions. A ski resort nearby was playing music loudly. Because my life is art, “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter started playing a few seconds after we discovered the burglary. Molly and I could not stop laughing. These are the items that were stolen from me: iPod touch, cellular phone, DSLR camera battery, DSLR lens caps, journal, and some clothes.

The start of the hike.

Reváňske Sedlo.

Rado and Molly.

…this.

Bobby and Rado speaking to the Slovakian police for us.

Rough estimates, but: two+ hours waiting for our companions. One hour in a restaurant while the police collected fingerprints/inspected the damage. Six+ hours in a Slovakian police station with Kate, Rado, and a friend who served as a translator, Maja. The rest of my friends sat in the car (none of their stuff was stolen) for a few hours then they were taken to a bar. Kate, Rado, Maja, and I became a little loopy and delusional after hours of sitting there – a little loopy and delusional = gross understatement. There were times when we just laughed about nothing and couldn’t stop. I found out later that Rado was missing his little sister’s birthday party to help us. We had just met, but everyone on the ranch took extreme measures to make sure that everything was/would continue to be okay. The beauty in people – it still exists.

Determined not to let this instance deter us from having a good time, we decided to stay at the ranch for the rest of our vacation. The ranch felt like home – we were safe and happy there. The following morning we drank several cups of žihľava dvojdomá (stinging nettle/Urtica dioica) tea and then we learned how to ride horses. Most of us had only been on a horse when we were young. Bobby taught us two different styles of riding and a few of us even galloped. Afterwards we helped make sausages. Luckily for us, we didn’t have to prepare the meat – we just stuck the meat in a cylinder, placed the casing on the end of a tube, turned a handle, and guided the sausage. As a former hardcore vegetarian, I almost couldn’t handle it. As an anthropologist, however, I couldn’t turn down such a cultural experience. I am proud to say that I made the longest sausage. We ended up eating that very sausage later that night for dinner. 10/10, would do it again.

Kate riding on Chester.

Rado after handling the meat.

The meat.

The process.

Our final products. I made the biggest one. 

So many sausages.

After eating lunch, Bobby took us to a 13^th century castle called Blatnica Hrad (Blatnica Castle) in the Veľká Fatra (Great/Greater Fatra). We hiked for only about ten to twenty minutes, but it was harder on us because we were still sore from horseback riding. The placement of the castle was breathtaking though – one side: plains, another side: valley/mountains. Bobby taught us the history of the castle and before we left we yelled loudly to listen to our echo. Two things were checked off my bucket list in Slovakia: 1) ride a horse without a lead 2) hear my echo bounce off of mountains. We then jumped back in the car, drove through some fields, and ended up at a deer sanctuary. The sun was almost fully set by the time we reached the deer, but we could hear two bucks fighting in the distance. I have missed the “silence” nature provides. Bobby then took us to get cakes in another town before we were given our second horse riding lesson. My friends said I was like a “Princess Queen” when I ride a horse. Honored. I am a lady!

Blatnica Hrad.

 

Saying goodbye that night was tough. I don’t know if we will ever be as unconditionally loved by strangers as we were at Ranch Amadeus. We have already planned a return trip and Bobby, the smiling Slovakian cowboy, has plans to visit his “angels” soon.

Taping the window up again.

Caroline and Elena are so good at it.

Back in Hungary.

The items that were stolen from me are replaceable, but the experience is mine to keep (please, no inceptions). I saw a sky of stars untainted by light pollution for the first time since August 2012. I want to hold on to these emotions forever.

A Lesson From Miss Jennifer: Don’t buy an awesome, trendy bag the day before you leave. Some people might like it a little too much.